Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Turning Over a New Leaf

That is what they say for new beginnings, for re-inventing yourself, for moving on.  I haven't written in a few days (a week to be exact), as I have been going through a lot over here.  I went back and forth on whether I should be sharing this with the open web, the world...will you judge me? is it the time or place to write about this? will I be embarrassed?

The thing is, I have shared a lot of personal information with you in the past couple of weeks, and this isn't something to be embarrassed by, it isn't something I should be taking personal - or something anyone should judge me for - so I am sharing in this post, and perhaps some follow up posts (not quite sure how this is all going to shake out), that I am now one of the 8.3% of the nation who is unemployed.

As a part of a larger lay off (I have heard 60 or so), I was let go last Wednesday morning.  There was no warning, no severance, no anything.  This all came as a complete shock!  I was told of my "terms of separation" from Company X, like it was a divorce, and handed a check for some vacation days accrued - my alimony (I have never mentioned my company specifically on here, and as upset as I am, I will continue to not mention any information on them going forward).  There was nothing personal, as it was a reduction of workforce, but for some reason, I just can't seem to accept that right now.  I am a very hard worker, always have been and always will be.  I don't like to fail...in fact, I rarely do.  To me, this feels like a complete failure...like getting an F on that final paper and just miss passing the class - or making it to mile 17 of a marathon and not being able to go any further, after all of that training.

I was a great student, I got my MBA, I got a great job and I try and I push to succeed at what I put my heart to - but I didn't here, I stumbled at some point, and fell off the course.

I know this will be a blessing in disguise...I know there will be a silver lining...but I am having a tough time right now.  I want to expand my horizons, I want to break into a new role, a new passion, but everything is a little overwhelming right now.  It is difficult to take a week to not think of this, as this is in the back, middle, front of my mind at all times.  I should be filling my days with things I have always wished I had to do in the middle of the day, but even those things don't fill the day, don't fill the void.

This post is an attempt to be honest with you, with myself...to write this all down and accept it, so I can move on, look for the next move, the next step, and go back to feeling like I have a purpose when I wake up in the morning, like I am helping others to feel as full of life and knowledge to share as me. 

Here's to new beginnings, re-inventing myself and turning over a new leaf...

15 comments:

  1. Good luck moving forward. You will find something bigger and better.

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  2. Big hugs girl. I've been there, more than once. And no matter how much they say it's not personal, of course you're going to take it that way. I'm glad you're writing it down. Get it out. Work through it. Silver lining or not, it sucks now. But it didn't happen because you failed or stumbled. You'll see it more clearly as time passes. It will be for the best. You will make it that way. Take some time now to just breathe and let the dust settle. It will get so much better. Believe it. No judgement. Just support, all the way!

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  3. oh friend. i would never judge you and i am really not sure how anyone could. you come across as one of the most genuine and hard working people through all the blogs i read! know that i am thinking about you and hoping for the best! you ARE a well-qualified, strong and hard-working individual so I know there is something great out there for you. Sometimes we just aren't sure what it is...but I truly believe that sometimes things happen for a reason. They may not be the way we had originally planned for them to turn out but it does not mean that great things are still nearby just waiting to come our way!

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  4. I'm sorry to hear about the lay off, Danielle. Like you said, it's going to be a blessing in disguise. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and good things will always come out of situations like this. Just take the time you need to figure out what you really want to do. Write things down! I do that a lot and it really helps. You know who to email if you ever need anything :)

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  5. that sucks Danielle - I think you will find a job. I keep telling people but I found so much help on www.askamanager.org ;) it's hard to get resumes and cover letters together when you haven't had to do it in a while - nothing to be embarrassed about at all :) xo

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  6. Sorry to hear about the job issue...that is such a bummer. You'll find something though! Everything happens for a reason, so there must be something around the corner that will be awesome for you!

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  7. No warning? No severance? That's crap! I really think it's okay that you are "grieving" like you would a loss, because that's what it is. Get upset, get angry, and deal with it the best way you know how. This is testing you for the moment, but you are strong and will make it! And this is so not embarrassing!! It shows that you are real and don't put on an act for the people who read you. Hang in there, beauty. xo

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  8. So sorry that this has happened to you. You must be feeling very betrayed and angry and be in a kind of shock.

    I am sure your self esteem must be a bit shaken too but you will come to realize (even though you already know it on a factual level) that it is not your fault. That you didn't do anything wrong.

    Take your time, sort it out, go through the emotions, and when you come out the other side you will be so excited by the opportunity for growth and change that awaits you.

    You are strong, vibrant, beautiful, brave woman, Danielle. Thanks for being honest and REAL, too, as always.

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  9. I am so sorry this happened to you Danielle. Your are amazing and more than qualified and you will turn this into a huge positive for yourself, I know it.

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  10. I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am sure that you will find a silver lining in all of this!

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  11. Danielle, I can give you some ideas for how to move forward and look for new opportunities. I went through 2 layoffs in my career and had to dust myself off and pick it up again. You'll get through this girl, and be all the stronger and wiser for it. Things do come together!
    xo Dominique

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  12. :(
    Well like you said, it probably is a silver lining. Sometimes we find out right away why things happen, and other times it takes a bit before the reason is revealed. Hang in there!

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  13. When one door closes..... well, you know the rest. You already seem to have a positive outlook on the whole situation. Keep your chin up and things will happen for you.

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  14. OK Danielle, I don't know how I missed this, but I am SO sorry that you have to deal with this headache!

    I am sure you are one of the hardest workers and I am sure it is nothing personal at all...but that doesn't fix that fact that this is a pain in the butt!

    I am sure this was just meant to be so that you can find a job that truly makes you happy. Don't settle until your heart is happy!!

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  15. I know I'm a little late to this post (sorry) - but I'm so sorry to hear about this :( Like you said, BIGGER and BETTER things are out there for you - but a lay off is never easy. Praying for you! Hope you find something awesome :)

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